Last night I had a horrible time falling asleep and was restless most of the night.
My husband and I had spent a great evening together, but when we went to bed I started a conversation that I didn’t realize was going to get so big. We both got frustrated and rolled away from each other and neither said a word. We weren’t really angry, but were both frustrated and hurt. Has this ever happened to you late at night with your spouse, good friend or relative? What did you do?
Results of Unresolved “Anger”:
1. Built up stress and anxiety inside the body.
2. Brain running non-stop replaying the conversation and other possible scenarios.
3. No longer tired because of the adreniline released during the tense conversation.
4. Unresolved issues forgotten and passed over when the new day comes. (More often than not, I don’t feel like bringing it back up)
5. Unable to fall asleep or sleep soundly all night!
Photo by Ed
I continue to learn how important it is not to let the sun go down angry. In addition to all the other obvious reasons why it’s not good, it affects my ability to get a good night’s sleep. Which is why this topic was important for this blog. I don’t have all the answers, but here are a few suggestions for keeping anger from robbing you of a good nights sleep.
Solutions and Suggestions
1. Don’t attempt to have a potentially difficult conversation late at night.
I know this is not always avoidable, but emotions are at a heightened state late at night because we’re tired. Be aware of increased sensitivity – yours and your partner’s – and be patient. Be willing to admit your part in the problem and ask for forgiveness. Be careful not to respond harshly even if they have just said something hurtful. Stay focused on bringing about peace and resolution.
2. Give a little space and time to allow the situation to cool down.
Both parties will be in a better state to talk and work things out.
3. Extend more grace and forgiveness than you’ve been given.
This is hard for everyone. When you feel you are wronged, it is important to calmly address the person and share how their words or actions made you feel. Ask if there is anything you did to them to cause them to treat you that way. If there was, take responsibility, apologize and ask for their forgiveness. Don’t demand or expect that they immediately apologize for their actions. Do all you can to bring peace in the relationship and the rest is up to them.
What to Do When You Can’t Seek Resolution Until the Next Day:
1. Don’t lie there stewing.
2. Find a way to distract yourself in a way that will help you to relax again. (read , focused breathing, stretch, etc.)
3. Try thinking through the situation to find the moments when you could have responded better, focusing on improving your character instead of mentally tearing the other person apart for all the things they did wrong.
How do you resolve situations that leave you feeling angry? If you are unable to resolve a situation before going to bed, what do you do ??
By Emily S.
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